


Without Her

by PseudoTwili



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2020-10-13 13:40:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20583413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PseudoTwili/pseuds/PseudoTwili
Summary: They were too late. She died because of the harsh light of a world which she was never supposed to enter. She was of shadows and magic laced with the orange of an insatiable flame; now she is white and ashen like a fire that has burnt out. With tears in his eyes, the wolf knew not how he would carry on without her.





	Without Her

"You… You can make it…to the woods…on your…own…right… Link…?"

She said his name with one final gasp and then her almost translucent lids covered the dulled eyes that she had been struggling so valiantly to keep open. The strangely white fingers, which she'd so often used to tweak his ears or pull on his mane, fell suddenly limp between the princess's gloved hands.

The wolf pushed his nose up against her cheek and licked her, causing her head to loll slightly; she gave not the irritated snap that he so desperately hoped he would hear, and her one visible eye did not open to fix him in a gaze most scornful. Only then did he realize that the excruciating breaths that seemed to tear themselves from her small body had ceased altogether.

In his low, growly voice he whispered, "M-Midna?" Refusing to believe the reality, he nudged her arm and felt how cold she already was. Had she been so cold all the time that he'd struggled to bear her up to the rooftops? "Midna?"

"She's…gone," murmured the princess, as an unbidden tear slipped from her regally blue eye.

He growled. It was supposed to be a little exclamation of "No…!" but there seemed to be something stopping his throat. If he had been human it would have sounded somewhere between a moan and a half-strangled cry.

She looked so frail, lying upon the unforgiving floor of dark stone. He had not had the chance to give her such close scrutiny before and with a great constricting pang of his heart he noticed how pale the dark portions of her skin had become with her exposure to the harsh light of this world, and how part of her face was a very dark blue, rather like the night sky without stars. And her hair!—it was supposed to be fiery orange and bursting with energy and magic, just like her! It should not be so limp, pale, nearly transparent and utterly lifeless. And she would never look upon him with an eye that seemed to be made from a bright, deep flame, and was just as burning whenever she stared at him.

"I am sorry…" Zelda said, very softly, and two more tears trickled down, leaving two glistening trails on her cheeks. "I could have saved her… If I had acted sooner she would still be alive…"

Her words sparked similar thoughts within Link. If only he had run faster, hadn't slipped in the mud those dozens of times! If only he hadn't wasted so much time in his frantic search for a way into the castle, and perhaps she would still be breathing if he hadn't been foolish enough to barrel into the bar, where he was immediately and roughly kicked out by the Goron, setting him back by a few minutes. When he climbed the crumbling stairs and mounted the rooftops slick with rain, he should never have allowed his exhaustion to slow him down until they were in the princess's chamber. His side still throbbed mercilessly where the bulblin had struck him with its club, but he hardly felt it through the anguish that pieced his heart as with the thrust of a rapier.

Zelda leaned forward and with the most extreme care and lifted the imp. Midna's arms dangled and her head fell back, which in turn caused the strange thing she always wore to fall from her head and strike the floor with the fragile sound of the shattering artifact. All of her ashy white hair was exposed; without the helmet she looked small and sweet and delicate.

She looks like she needs protecting…but I am too late for that…! I am…too late… He knew not when the hot tears began pouring from his eyes down his wolfish snout. This cannot be! Am I dreaming? Midna cannot be…she cannot! I… Oh, I should have saved her!

A softly quiet voice broke into his careening thoughts. "I am sorry, Hero. You must go. I sense a great evil within this castle and you are no match for it in your current state. Make haste to Faron and the Master Sword."

He turned woebegone eyes upward, fixating upon the white girl in the princess's arms.

"Worry not. I will take care of her."

He raised his gaze still further and glimpsed the big pearly tears that dripped from her eyes and made her lashes wet whenever she blinked. He never imagined such sorrow could be evinced from a pair of eyes as hers. His stomach gave another twist and his heart another clench when he understood the pain she felt too. Here she was, the supposed sovereign of this kingdom and she was locked away in the tower, unable to help her people, let alone the small imp who was at least doing something to lift the veil of shadows from the world.

"Do not worry about me either, Hero. I will do what I can here and will await your return. Go now—!" She finished with a small sob and bent her head to the side.

The hardest thing for the wolf to do at that moment was to tear himself away from both girls. Midna hadn't been so bad, really; she was rude, snarky, bossy, manipulative, and treated him no better than if he'd been her personal slave, but she had given him indispensable aid in their quest. She wasn't always so disagreeable; why, in the last couple of weeks she had snapped at him less frequently and her stiff, icy exterior was slowly peeling away to show him what kind of girl she really was.

He felt he would never have the courage to leave, but one more glance into the princess's eyes explained the urgency of the situation to him. He could not bear another look at the little imp's lifeless form or he surely would break down; it was bad enough that her dead face was forever at the forefront of his mind. With a strange, none too wolf-like gulp, he turned tail and tore through the slightly open doors.

"I am sorry…" Zelda murmured once again.

~O~

Link dazedly picked his way across the rooftops to the other tower. The rain was letting up but hadn't yet ceased; the shingles and stone which he tread were so slippery that he nearly slid off several times, and repeatedly spread-eagled on his belly. Upon entering the other tower, he intercepted a very small band of bulblins who were no doubt plotting something at least somewhat nefarious; they attacked him, but after he half-heartedly bit several of them and snarled at the rest, they decided to leave him be. He continually expected Midna to fly from his shadow and berate him with liberal lashes of her tongue for being so careless, but of course she didn't and never would.

After traversing the stench of the sewers again, he eventually wound up in the moat. It was quite cold, which brought him out of his exhausted, grief-stricken stupor just a little bit as he struggled and flailed in the water, eventually climbing to a jutting rock at the base of the thick wall just opposite the castle. After much shivering and shaking his fur, he had almost decided to stop and rest a while, but then the thoughts came swirling back to his brain, unbidden and intent on tormenting him.

The sun was only streaking the horizon and the streets of Castle Town were near empty at that hour, save for some scattered, usually drunk revelers straggling home, and the occasional soldier. Keeping to the shadows as his partner would have done had she been there, Link flung himself along the cobblestoned streets and alleyways of the city and deftly avoided contact with any living being. The cats who had befriended him earlier spotted him from afar as he streaked past and were miffed that he was just sneaking out of town without even stopping to say hello to them.

Even when he reached the field he did not stop; he didn't care how tired he was and he just kept running, as if he could escape from the pain and the memories of Midna's last moments. If he kept focused on moving toward a goal it dulled his thoughts somewhat and then it didn't hurt quite so much.

The sun rose and bathed the land in its warm, golden splendor, but he saw it not through the veil of tears that clouded his eyes. His grief made him shorter of breath than his exertion did, but still he would not give in and rest. His steps faltered and his stumblings grew at an ever alarming rate until, finally, he collapsed. His breath coming painful, sharp rasps, he simply hadn't the strength to pull himself up again.

"What are you doing?! Get up, you lazy, mangy mutt!"

His weary head jerked up and both ears with their twin blue loops twitched; he knew that voice! "M-Midna?"

He cast his eyes about for her, but all that met his gaze was a great expanse of grass, a few wildflowers, and some far-off cliffs and trees. Surely he was not mistaken that he'd heard her voice, any more than he'd imagined the derision with which it was laced. Was she playing a trick on him?

"Did you forget you are my servant, and as such you have to do exactly what I say?"

The wolf staggered to his tender paws and wobbled forward several steps. He wished most desperately that he could turn back time, give his own life for her, anything so that she would still be with him and he would not feel as lost as he did. What was the use of running anymore? She might have passed the mortal coil but her words still lingered like mocking little ghosts.

"Eee hee hee!"

Her laugh was some distance from him and seemed to echo several times as it reached his ears. He followed it with limping steps until he reached a little sheltered spot at the base of a great rock that rose from the earth; he sank once again to the soft, cool ground, which beckoned to him most invitingly.

"We have a very important mission! Why are you always lolling around?!"

"I'm so tired…Midna… I can't…go on…" he gasped, and closed his eyes.

"Fine. But it'd better be short! And when I say so we have to leave. We've got to get back to the woods… Eee hee hee!"

The familiar giggle seemed to strike his heart and break it in two. He howled mournfully and dropped his head to the dark, almost damp soil; then his exhaustion finally closed in on him and he was no longer aware of his surroundings. The sun made its glorious ascent to the peak of the sky, hung there for a while, and then slipped down the opposing slope while he slept fitfully, dreaming an oft repeating nightmare in which she scolded him for his incompetence and named him a failure because he hadn't saved her.

The sky began to change color and the pure white clouds took on orange, rosy appearances; these darkened as that great orb slipped beneath the horizon. Some great artist was slowly and meticulously painting the heavens successively darker shades as Link awoke. At the very first he couldn't be sure what had aroused him; even before he finally managed to open his eyes and focus on the world of darkness, he sensed danger.

He flew up, quite suddenly alert and with adrenaline coursing his veins, growled quite menacingly and bared his teeth. The group of bokoblins that were brainless enough to attempt a sneak attack, advanced and he tore into them ferociously. He was almost overpowered with sudden rage and felt no remorse for decimating the monsters.

When their bloodied corpses all lay upon the ground, bearing evidence of fang and claw; Link staggered away, his extreme anger abating as quickly as it had come upon him, and suddenly he felt the intense aching of his muscles and clenching of his stomach. A revolting taste remained in his mouth as the recollection of his nightmares still lingered at the edges of his mind.

Moving haltingly, he made for a particularly verdant grove of trees that held the promise of a source of water. There he found a tiny brook from which he both quenched his thirst and spat the horrible substance from his mouth. Having fulfilled the most urgent of his needs, his mind presented him with that which hadn't left it for something just short of twenty-four hours. Upon his initial awakening he had hoped so desperately that those events were just a part of his dream, but when she did not emerge from his shadow to nag him about their destination, he knew for certain that her death was a reality.

His paws were stiff and seemed to weigh almost as much as his heart as he once again trudged along the way that would eventually lead him to Faron Woods. While his feet carried him over a path flooded with the purity of pale moonlight, his thoughts took him down a much different trail that bordered on shadows filled with soul-grasping ghosts.

Just a couple days ago he could never have imagined being without his companion, let alone how empty the world seemed when he was on his own. When he met Midna he had thought none too kindly of her and her insufferable attitude and at the time would have been as glad to be rid of her and she would have been without him if they hadn't needed each other. Gradually he grew accustomed to her snarky remarks and frequent gibes; he even learned to turn her insults upside down and reciprocate them right back at her. In the last week or two he had seen her tentative smile more commonly than all the time before that.

The only reason that he could go on, rather than folding into a heap and yielding up to the cruel world, was a result of the final words she had spoken. At that moment, when she was on the precipice of death and all she concerned herself about was his well-being, only then had he understood that she had turned a new leaf of her character. It had been gradual, but was so unexpected to realize it all at once; it was like the blush of dawn coming to a place that had too long been shrouded in an eternal night.

On the journey to the forest he kept no memory of striking down the spawn of evil that would just as easily have slain him. He caught a couple of wild field hares and consumed them raw; their taste was as nothing on his dulled tongue. The sun rose and traveled across the heavens in its never-altering pattern; he silently cursed it for not showing some kind of shame for the death it had partially caused.

When the moon was making her own scheduled journey across the skies, the trees of the forest swallowed Link and turned his surroundings a shade darker to match his anguished thoughts. Still he continued, traversing the glades and thickets that he knew to some degree or another. By the time the sun greeted him again he was deeper in the forest than he'd ever ventured before and he was going in circles trying to find the sacred place of which the princess had spoken. He hadn't closed his eyes since that time by the rock.

"Ugh! You are so helpless! I have to do everything for you!"

He snapped his head up but he already knew she wouldn't be there. Why did she torment him so, even if she was only in his mind? So intent in his thoughts was he that he stepped at the very edge of a steep cliff before he realized he was so near. He pulled back just in time, sending a cascade of pebbles and debris tumbling down.

"You see? You are always blinding rushing into things and land yourself in trouble! Why don't you look where you're going, huh?!"

Staring dumbly and sleepily at the whole lot of air that almost seemed to reach up and grab him, he felt rather dizzy.

"I suppose I'll have to help you anyway. There's a bit of path here and if you're careful you should be able to walk it."

Testing each step before he put all the weight to his paw, he began picking his way across the slope. The great chasm yawned menacingly to his right and somehow he did not feel any apprehension should he make one tiny mistake.

"Just don't fall and get yourself killed, you hear me wolf boy?"

He obeyed her, exactly as he always did. Taking caution, he wound around the sleep side of the valley and slid down a bit of scree until he reached a lovely little meadow and a creek with a cheery, tinkling laugh that seemed to mock him. He drank from it and then followed it into another grove of trees that looked promising.

From the moment he entered that new section of forest, he immediately sensed the difference in the air that seemed alive with ancient magic. He could already feel that he was getting disoriented and he had hardly ventured a dozen paces into the area.

"Get a hold of yourself! You'll just get lost if you don't pay attention to your surroundings!"

That voice in his head wouldn't leave him to grieve in solace! One moment he wished he could silence it for all eternity, but just as quickly he realized that had already happened. He would have dwelt upon that agonizing thought further if something very peculiar hadn't scampered into his bleary field of vision. It was a strange little child with an enormous, toothy grin and surprisingly well-made clothes. Over one shoulder protruded a horn-like instrument, and in one hand he carried a lantern which clinked slightly, sending its light bounced as the little being hopped from one foot to the other. He took one glance at Link and sprinted into the darker depths of those woods.

"Don't just stand there like an idiot! Go after him!"

The bizarre kid was fast and the wolf was exhausted, but by the trailing glow of the lantern he usually managed to keep the child within sight. He had the impression that the scamp was leading him around in circles, but in his current state of mind he didn't enough spare energy to care. Every once in a while the little forest dweller just seemed to disappear and before long Link realized that it was a part of the game. It was relatively easy for him to locate the rascal again because when he was stationary he always played a rollicking tune upon his horn. As soon as the wolf approached his sneaky hiding spot, the skull kid blew a final, loud toot on his horn and darted away with a giggle as several wooden puppets dropped upon a surprised Link and danced around him. No amount of warning growls would keep them from pursuing and bothering him, so he bit and tore their strings and let them fall to heaps on the ground.

After a while the grinning child grew tired of the game of hide and seek and he took to hopping from one stump to another while Link attempted to catch him. Quite a number of puppets later, the wolf finally pounced on him and held him down. He was extremely tired, nearly frazzled out of his mind, and sorely missing his companion; he nipped the troublesome little prankster who had only added to his torment.

"Hee hee… You're pretty good at playing, Wolfy. I'll lead you to a nice place now," chortled the peculiar little fellow.

He hit Link's nose and the latter released him suddenly; he then followed the forest child on legs that felt like giving out on him, with swaying steps that seemed to make him float. The trees and other burgeoning growth abated not in the slightest but one different was that he started seeing uniquely shaped bits of stone that were a bit too perfect to have been formed that way on their own. A minute later he realized that they had entered a ruin of sorts; some walls were disintegrating to one degree or another and the arches were mostly memories.

"Wow, look at this place? It's pretty old, isn't it?"

He knew quite well that she wasn't there, but still he turned his head to search for her and with another sinking of his heart he saw nothing out of the ordinary. When he looked ahead again, the skull kid had vanished and he was in front of a slight tunnel formed completely of trees. Into its darkness he pressed; on the other side he emerged into a space that was open to the sky as the trees could not grow in the broken stone that covered most of the area with cracks in between. Through a fog of exhaustion he noted some collapsed stairs to his right, but what arrested his attention were two identical, time-worn statues which seemed to be guarding a firmly shut, mossy doorway. As he approached, their stone arms creaked and their heads turned to look at him.

"Beast, what business have you in this sacred place?" rumbled a voice that seemed more ancient the ruins in which they stood. Both statues raised their axe-like weapons in their cracked hands and Link knew he hadn't a chance against them.

"You're a beast, aren't you? Hee hee… You have to do what I say or you'll always be stuck this way."

"Stop it…" he moaned. "Why won't you stop?! Get out of my head!"

"Eee hee hee!"

The wolf howled and fled into the trees far opposite the statues; he crashed through the brush, tripped upon obstacles that he could not see, and in his wake he left an indiscernible trail of tears. He found a fallen log, one end of which had long been propped up against another great tree, leaving a spot near its other end that was almost like a little cave, with dirt and growing ferns on two sides of it. He squeezed himself into the area and let his tears fall unrestrained.

"Midna, don't leave… Please don't leave me…" he whimpered as he succumbed to sleep.

He awoke some unknown time later with someone poking his side. For a very brief second he thought Midna was annoying him to wakefulness; the finger that jabbed him was pale, too much like hers had been before she died.

"Won't you come out and play with me again, Wolfy?" chuckled a familiar, queer voice.

Link lashed out with a paw and only a quick backward leap on the part of the strange child kept the blow from connecting.

"You're no fun!" cried the skull kid, shaking both fists and jiggling his lantern.

He grinned in a very creepy way and then ran off in pursuit of someone or something who would indulge him. Meanwhile, the wolf lowered his head again and howled. It was such a mournful sound that any nearby animals lucky enough to make their homes in the sacred forest were scared out of their wits. He knew he was close to the sacred blade that was supposed to cleave the curse that cloaked him, but he knew he wasn't worthy to go near it. He had failed to rescue his companion; she was gone and there was no way to bring her back.

He sensed rather than heard someone before him and angrily assumed the pest was back again. "Go away, you little blister!" he growled, without lifting his head or opening the blue eyes that still held so many tears.

Only the sound of breathing met his ears, assuring him that someone was still out there out there. He tried to convince himself that he didn't care and tucked his head down, but whatever or whoever it was remained in place, doubtlessly watching him. Finally he decided to take a peek, shifted his head, and cracked one eye. What he glimpsed through that slit forced both blue orbs open and his head to fly up.

"What ails you?" demanded the golden being who stood shining before him. "You sulk here like a naughty pup. Where is your courage?"

"I…I cannot go on without her," Link muttered, quite realizing he sounded like a very small child.

"You've come this far, haven't you? Only if you draw that sword will you be able to fight the evil that plagues this land."

"I don't know if I can…without her… She's gone…" He bent his head again as the tears came.

"What would she tell you to do if she was here? Would she let wallow in your misery, or would she charge you to follow through with your mission?" growled the golden wolf, giving Link an almost playful swipe of his paw.

He flinched back and felt even smaller than he had before. "She would tell me… to get off my rump and go get the sword."

"Don't waste time then. Do it."

"But she's gone! Am I not supposed to mourn for her? She was my companion and it was my fault that she d-die-ed!"

"Everyone must mourn their dead. Don't let it stop you from the fine deeds you must do for this land; instead, let her be your strength to carry on and save the people who still live."

He made a snuffle that was very odd coming from a wolf's throat. "I'm sorry I'm such a failure…"

"A coward or a failure would not be worthy of my tutelage."

Link blinked through more tears and the golden beast was gone. He emerged from the cave-like spot and gazed at the ground where the creature had sat upon his haunches; there was no sign that he had ever been there. He let his breath escape in one big sigh and looked to the shafts of sunlight that were sifted down through the trees.

"Are we finally going to leave now? Took you long enough, I must say!"

"Okay, okay," he grumbled, gulping on another bit of grief.

He had no difficulty in retracing his steps to the ruins and the guardian statues. They produced a challenge for him to test his courage, he, taking a deep, somewhat shaky breath, eventually evaded their bulky bodies and immense weapons and placed himself between them and the ancient doorway.

"You have passed the test, beast. Go now, to the grove where the sacred blade waits." So saying, they flung up the door for him and returned to their original spots, where they once again became completely immobile.

"Don't stop now, you silly wolf. You're almost there!"

Padding forward as gingerly as if he was afraid of waking a sleeping giant, he mounted a short flight of shallow steps, entering a place where everything seemed greener than the most verdant trees at home, and all was bathed in a bluish light. The sole purpose of what had originally been a room was to house the sword that stood in the pedestal at the far end of the grove. The blade had obviously not been affected with the passing of time and seemed to shimmer with a holy white light, sending glimmers of it to the surroundings.

As he drew closer he sensed it trying to push him back but he kept surging forward until he was within a couple feet of the impressive weapon. All of a sudden he felt no more pressure as something fell from him like he was shedding a most oppressive cloak. He stood, gazed upon hands that were once more made of bare flesh instead of fur, and covered with leather gauntlets; he sighed and felt a little glimmer of happiness and of satisfaction that he was human again.

Someone seemed to be whispering his name, and it was not the same voice he had been hearing in his head. He eyed the gleaming blade and wondered if it would nestle in his palm as perfectly as did the one crafted by Rusl. He put his hand to the hilt and pulled it gently, surprised when it came away easily. It accepted him as its master and he knew he had much to do to live up to that expectancy.

Observing the slight reflection on the immaculate blade as he held it in front of his face, he murmured, "I will finish this fight, Midna, even if you are not here. I will not let you down."

"Eee hee hee!"

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a result of my deciding to try my hand at something more tragic than my other one-shots. I guess I am pretty mean to put Link through all that misery, though. This idea just popped into my head a few nights ago while I was thinking too much when I should have been falling asleep. Funny how inspiration comes sometimes... 
> 
> Oh, this brings back memories of going through Midna's desperate hour for the first time. I was actually crying as I wandered through the streets of Castle Town, partly because the music was so sad and because I was frustrated with not knowing what to do. Thank goodness for those friendly cats who told me I should go to Telma's Bar!


End file.
